by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
It's time to call a spade a spade. We are members of the most communications savvy and personally wired generation ever. Even the tiniest mite has her cell phone with camera. Yet the truth is, the explosion of communications tools has produced less real communication than ever; you and your poor communications skills are one of the culprits. Listen up! After all, it's time your communication skills improved to the level of your communications tools.
The quality of communications is not strained...
You, being an educated soul, are no doubt familiar with Portia's famous speech:
The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
(The Merchant of Venice. Act 4, scene 1.)
Bold and even impious, I now advise you (while great Shakespeare rolls in his grave) to change the word "mercy" to "communications," thus:
The quality of communications is not strain'd... it is twice blessed..."
And so it is. Good communications are good for the recipient and for the sender too.
You know this... but you do not act accordingly. Which is why this (shall we say) motivating article is so necessary and why you should take every single word to heart and make radical adjustments in your lamentable behavior.
Poor communicators (with the probability strong that you are one of them) exhibit these traits:
Arrogance. The human animal is a selfish animal, conceived in selfishness and nurtured in the belief that the Great Me, the universe-centered I Am is the most important animal anywhere at any time. As a result, this animal well and truly believes that she is so important that others must feel grateful, even when the communication is not returned. Oh, my!
People (like you?) who do not communicate effectively are people who are telling others, clear as crystal, that they are superior to you; that their time is more valuable than yours... and that these lesser folk need wait (and happily so) and wait and wait some more until you condescend to respond.
Such people by their behavior and non responsiveness clearly indicate that you and your concerns are, by definition, of infinitely less consideration than theirs. And that you'd best be glad for the little you get, for it is infinitely more than you deserve.
Poor communicators are slothful.
Good communicators, effective communicators realize that the business of communicating is like a tennis match. The ball must always be in motion between the communicator and those he wishes to communicate with. When the ball stops moving, the communication stops with it. The person who has stopped the communicating process is , by definition, the lazy, inhibiting one.
All too often the communication stops and is not extended because of unadulterated sloth. It takes work to communicate... it takes work to conceive a message and deliver that message. It takes work to be prepared and move matters to their next stage. However the slothful communicator can and does think of a myriad of "reasons" why he can obliterate the communications process without remorse. Thus he goes blithely on with his affairs while others, fuming, apply language which is ever more blue as time passes and their legitimate reasons for communicating go without any response whatsoever. Oh, my!
A special cycle of hell
For the intractable, for the miscreants arrogant and slothful who will not change, an idea: for them: a special cycle of hell wherein they are asked such questions as "are you hungry?" or "are you feeling hot and uncomfortable?" These hungry and uncomfortable miscreants answer and answer and answer. But response comes there none, ever. Delicious.
Help for the socially challenged and shy johns and janes everywhere.
Yet is the world of the non communicators made up solely and exclusively of the arrogant and slothful? Certainly not. It is also, and in significant numbers, the preserve of the shy, the timid, the socially malaprop, and untutored.
For them a single word: study.
There is one thing and only one thing which sets us apart and elevated from animals of every kind and place... and that one thing is communicating. So, if you truly wish to learn, improve and foster rather than retard communications, here is what you must learn and do.
1) Learn empathy, that crucial ability to enter into the minds and hearts of the people you are to communicate with. What is it they are expecting from you? Deliver that, to the furthest extent possible, and you have the essential element of success.
2) Be prompt about responding. In an age of instant communications, there can be absolutely no reason for delayed or no response at all except your own failure to provide it. The means are at hand; use them "as quick as boiled asparagus." And that's very fast!
3) Be clear on where you can be reached. Assume the person you are communicating with does not have this vital intelligence. State it clearly, thoroughly... and reiterate to avoid any confusion whatsoever.
4) Be willing to try again if the person you are trying to reach (even if that person initiated the communication) fails to respond. Remember, empathy is the basis for successful communications.
5) Above all else, never stop improving your knowledge of communication and its techniques. In this golden age of communications, the overwhelming majority of loaves and fishes will go to the communicating elite... those who make it a point to master communications and steadily enhance their knowledge and expertise. Make that person you!
Give this article to the communicating challenged. They need it so.
Your last task for today is to give a copy of this article to every substandard and inadequate communicator you can. The task at hand, training communicators and enhancing their skills, is a lifetime affair. Start it now. There is so very much to do and so many who need the help.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Jeffrey Lant is the author of 18 best-selling business books, as well as being an internationally recognized marketer.
Republished with author's permission
by Christopher Ninnis http://NoRiskHomeBiz.com.
Check out Six Figure RENEGADE -> http://www.NoRiskHomeBiz.com/?rd=hn5ODxcZ
Monday, 4 April 2011
You are not 'self made'. No one is. Reflections on the need to admit, to acknowledge, and, above all, to thank.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
I am, amongst other things, a professional speaker of many years experience. Such people are trained to read audiences; see what works... and run with it... while eschewing and abandoning any line that doesn't arouse the audience and fails to seize their hearts and minds.
The other day I was delivering a lecture on the need, the absolute and unshakable necessity, to work as part of a team on the 'net; to stop believing that you can succeed alone, all by yourself.
In an instant, I felt the connection with my audience strengthen; it was just as if I had grabbed the hand of my beloved and felt, in prompt but unmistakable way, the slightest pressure in return; slight perhaps but there, there! It is an unforgettable moment, highly charged with rapture, bliss, and possibilities such is the deep- seated power of connection. I now had that power at my command....
The noxious phrase: "self-made".
It is time to take aim at one of the most inaccurate phrases in the English language, the one that allows (usually men) to preen and brag about the fact that are "self-made."
When they say that you know you're in for a reverie composed of the achievements, great and small, of this fellow traveler, fueled by pomposity, egotism, brash self-congratulation. One needs to be well fortified indeed to abide it... for the cascade is likely to be long, fulsome, and right from the start, excessive.
"Devotions upon Emergent Occasions", John Donne, 1624.
John Donne was an English poet preparing, as he wrote this work, to die. With eternity in mind, he was engaged in a sober, fully engaging business; nothing was more important than to get it right. Out of this frame of mind came these words of profound insight:
No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
The pressing task now, before the bell tolls.
One day, ready or not, the bell will toll for thee. Before that occurs you need a moment like John Donne's, a moment of pure insight into who you are, where you are, and how you got to be that way and here.
This is a process that calls for honesty, sincerity, integrity and the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. For now is the time to see your life as a process aided and facilitated every step of the way by people who gave of themselves so that you might advance.
Too often you have been forgetful of these people; yet they are the engines who have vitally assisted in your development and prosperity.
John Dunne is right. You are not the continent; you are but a part of the continent. You have surely worked hard and long for your success.... but you have not been the sole reason for your success. You are not "self-made"; you are "team made", a part, but never the whole reason for advancement.
Now, therefore, resolve to thank, thank often, thank lavishly, the greater your prosperity, the more to thank. They have all made you who you are.
Thank your parents.
It is easy, in fact the easiest of all, to take your parents for granted. I have myself been remiss here and am relieved to acknowledge it and commence correction.
Now that I am far, far older than my parents were when I was conceived, I am clear on what they did for me... and what I owe them. They were not only young and in love when I arrived; they had undertaken on my behalf a responsibility of unparalleled magnitude and life-changing, life challenging importance. My very life and well being depended on them getting it right from the very first thing they did... as well as everything thereafter.
Such people, and the claims are even greater if you had but one parent or were raised by people other than your parents, such people I say desire and must have more than a card on Mother's or Father's Day. They deserve and must have more than a bouquet belatedly thought of and hastily delivered. They need to know that you remember them, what they did... they need to be reassured, whatever your age, that you remember.... and are grateful; that you will never forget them as the tolling of their bell comes ever closer...
Today is the day for your parents.
Thank your teachers, too
We are all the product of the teachers who gave of themselves, not just for a pay check either, to mold, craft, transform and enhance us... day after day. We have, too often, taken them and their generosity of action and spirit for granted... and we must not do so.
First, understand and acknowledge there was nothing in what they did for us which justifies us taking them for granted. It must be our first task to expunge that dereliction ... to see what they did as a blessing, daily given, good people working on the never-ending work in progress who was you. You are the result of dozens of people and their continual attention.
First, remember them by name. You are older now... you are able to see what they did as a great responsibility, taken in seriousness, given beyond expectations... a true gift.
Remember them... and, whenever possible, contact the special teachers who went far beyond whatever could have been expected for you... for you. Send them the most memorable letter any teacher can receive: the one that thanks them, that remembers them, that renews their pride in their profession and what they did, its value and its importance. Remember the many others, too.
Remember, too, the counselors... the clergy... the coaches. They, too, gave generously... and deserve your remembrance and acknowledgement. It is too easy to forget... and overlook. But they deserve much more than that from you. Will you take the necessary action, the generous action and connect with them, yet again, and deliver the pure bliss of gratitude? Take this action with joy in your heart, for it is the right thing to do.
Start today. Rejoice at the happiness you will bring the people who have helped make you... and the contentment you will give yourself and deserve, for such sentiments come from the heart, the very best and most important thing created by all, given by you.
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. As well as a speaker and consultant, Dr. Lant is the author of 18-best selling books.
Republished with author's permission
by Christopher Ninnis http://NoRiskHomeBiz.com.
Check out Six Figure RENEGADE -> http://www.NoRiskHomeBiz.com/?rd=hn5ODxcZ
I am, amongst other things, a professional speaker of many years experience. Such people are trained to read audiences; see what works... and run with it... while eschewing and abandoning any line that doesn't arouse the audience and fails to seize their hearts and minds.
The other day I was delivering a lecture on the need, the absolute and unshakable necessity, to work as part of a team on the 'net; to stop believing that you can succeed alone, all by yourself.
In an instant, I felt the connection with my audience strengthen; it was just as if I had grabbed the hand of my beloved and felt, in prompt but unmistakable way, the slightest pressure in return; slight perhaps but there, there! It is an unforgettable moment, highly charged with rapture, bliss, and possibilities such is the deep- seated power of connection. I now had that power at my command....
The noxious phrase: "self-made".
It is time to take aim at one of the most inaccurate phrases in the English language, the one that allows (usually men) to preen and brag about the fact that are "self-made."
When they say that you know you're in for a reverie composed of the achievements, great and small, of this fellow traveler, fueled by pomposity, egotism, brash self-congratulation. One needs to be well fortified indeed to abide it... for the cascade is likely to be long, fulsome, and right from the start, excessive.
"Devotions upon Emergent Occasions", John Donne, 1624.
John Donne was an English poet preparing, as he wrote this work, to die. With eternity in mind, he was engaged in a sober, fully engaging business; nothing was more important than to get it right. Out of this frame of mind came these words of profound insight:
No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
The pressing task now, before the bell tolls.
One day, ready or not, the bell will toll for thee. Before that occurs you need a moment like John Donne's, a moment of pure insight into who you are, where you are, and how you got to be that way and here.
This is a process that calls for honesty, sincerity, integrity and the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. For now is the time to see your life as a process aided and facilitated every step of the way by people who gave of themselves so that you might advance.
Too often you have been forgetful of these people; yet they are the engines who have vitally assisted in your development and prosperity.
John Dunne is right. You are not the continent; you are but a part of the continent. You have surely worked hard and long for your success.... but you have not been the sole reason for your success. You are not "self-made"; you are "team made", a part, but never the whole reason for advancement.
Now, therefore, resolve to thank, thank often, thank lavishly, the greater your prosperity, the more to thank. They have all made you who you are.
Thank your parents.
It is easy, in fact the easiest of all, to take your parents for granted. I have myself been remiss here and am relieved to acknowledge it and commence correction.
Now that I am far, far older than my parents were when I was conceived, I am clear on what they did for me... and what I owe them. They were not only young and in love when I arrived; they had undertaken on my behalf a responsibility of unparalleled magnitude and life-changing, life challenging importance. My very life and well being depended on them getting it right from the very first thing they did... as well as everything thereafter.
Such people, and the claims are even greater if you had but one parent or were raised by people other than your parents, such people I say desire and must have more than a card on Mother's or Father's Day. They deserve and must have more than a bouquet belatedly thought of and hastily delivered. They need to know that you remember them, what they did... they need to be reassured, whatever your age, that you remember.... and are grateful; that you will never forget them as the tolling of their bell comes ever closer...
Today is the day for your parents.
Thank your teachers, too
We are all the product of the teachers who gave of themselves, not just for a pay check either, to mold, craft, transform and enhance us... day after day. We have, too often, taken them and their generosity of action and spirit for granted... and we must not do so.
First, understand and acknowledge there was nothing in what they did for us which justifies us taking them for granted. It must be our first task to expunge that dereliction ... to see what they did as a blessing, daily given, good people working on the never-ending work in progress who was you. You are the result of dozens of people and their continual attention.
First, remember them by name. You are older now... you are able to see what they did as a great responsibility, taken in seriousness, given beyond expectations... a true gift.
Remember them... and, whenever possible, contact the special teachers who went far beyond whatever could have been expected for you... for you. Send them the most memorable letter any teacher can receive: the one that thanks them, that remembers them, that renews their pride in their profession and what they did, its value and its importance. Remember the many others, too.
Remember, too, the counselors... the clergy... the coaches. They, too, gave generously... and deserve your remembrance and acknowledgement. It is too easy to forget... and overlook. But they deserve much more than that from you. Will you take the necessary action, the generous action and connect with them, yet again, and deliver the pure bliss of gratitude? Take this action with joy in your heart, for it is the right thing to do.
Start today. Rejoice at the happiness you will bring the people who have helped make you... and the contentment you will give yourself and deserve, for such sentiments come from the heart, the very best and most important thing created by all, given by you.
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. As well as a speaker and consultant, Dr. Lant is the author of 18-best selling books.
Republished with author's permission
by Christopher Ninnis http://NoRiskHomeBiz.com.
Check out Six Figure RENEGADE -> http://www.NoRiskHomeBiz.com/?rd=hn5ODxcZ
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